IS INFIDELITY SOCIALLY ACCEPTED?

infidelity
I hate the way you talk to me, and the way you cut your hair. I hate the way you drive my car. I hate it when you stare. I hate your big dumb combat boots, and the way you read my mind. I hate you so much it makes me sick; it even makes me rhyme. I hate it, I hate the way you’re always right. I hate it when you lie. I hate it when you make me laugh, even worse when you make me cry. I hate it when you’re not around, and the fact that you didn’t call. But mostly I hate the way I don’t hate you. Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all – Kat Stratford  (10 Things I Hate About You)

Girls, if given the chance to be in a relationship, which would you prefer, to be with the bad guy or the good guy? Ironically, most women find the darker personality as an attractive one. They can’t help it! It stirs them! They find it appealing no matter how hard they try not to. Though this ain’t the case most of the time, the University of Durham found out that women are drawn to the bad boys because of their stubbornness, confidence, and their impulsiveness. Or maybe, in my opinion, they feel that they’d be the one who’d be able to change that person for the better, who knows?

Just recently, British radio station BBC Radio 1 uploaded on their YouTube channel a rendition of 50 Cent’s classic sappy love song 21 Questions. It was sung by English rapper J Hus and at first it was more of a J who to me? I had no idea who this rapper was, but I was curious on his interpretation of this bouncy rap song. It was performed live and at the first sound of the guitar, in my head it was, “ooooohhhh boy this is gonna be good!” Up ‘til the last note I was bobbing my head and feeling the groove all alone in my room. I became an instant J Hus fan. He had this deep sounding Jamaican patois in his voice and it made the song up to par with the original. It had its own flavor, a more distinct sound, and a badder more playboy version. J Hus’ version was more of taking his girl for granted and being playful rather than being faithful, unlike its predecessor. The lyrics is a stand out being for being mischievous, naughty, and outright shocking. Melodically its eargasmic, but personally, the lyrics is cool but it’s a damn turn off.

infidelity
I don’t like you but I love you. Seems that I’m always thinking of you. Oh, oh, oh, You treat me badly, I love you madly – She and Him

50 cent released the track 21 questions with Dr. Dre as producer. Apparently, Dre didn’t want to include this track on the album since it wasn’t “gangsta” enough. To which 50 Cent replied quote: “I’m two people. I’ve always had to be two people since I was a kid, to get by. To me that’s not diversity, it’s necessity.” The original was soft and sentimental, compared to the latest cover version, but I’d agree with 50 cent – it’s necessary to keep a heart even if you’re being hard. So if there’s a toss up between the two, 50 gets my vote.

It’s actually alarming how people glamorize womanizing. In music, media, games, it’s everywhere. Both sexes are affected by this. The women, would say, “its alright. That’s how it is. Boys let them be boys”. Then the boys would say “she’ll take me no matter what.” It’s an “everybody else is doing it, so why cant we” kind of scenario. Its gonna be fun for awhile but things simply don’t last forever. It will spell trouble! More trouble than you’d ever imagine. Its not prestigious, its ridiculous! There are numerous scandals of cheating, from Hollywood to Pilipinas-wood (You know what I mean, let’s not go there) All because of the fact that it is socially accepted for men to be a player. I can’t speak on behalf of those who has done this act, of course they have their reasons but my take – the media has a big responsibility as to why this is going rampant. I believe this has been the scenario since the ancient times, but what the hell, can’t we evolve? Infidelity has been putting the wooden stake at the heart of many for ages and thus causing severe emotional depression. Not only for woman but also in men.

infidelity
Psychology Today: More than 90% of Americans believe infidelity is unacceptable, yet 30-40% of people engage in it. Infidelity is associated with adverse outcomes such as depression, domestic violence, divorce, even homicide.

It’s nice that Filipinos have their ways of coping up with heartache with their smart hugot lines. One of my favourite goes: Bakit pa binigay kung babawiin lang din –Kitchie Nadal. Its hard to lose someone especially if its because of cheating, but at least there’s some way of dealing with it in humor.

To each his own. We can’t simply approach someone and tell them “hey break up with your ladies man”. All we can do is asses ourselves and our relationship if we are burning the right energy or losing it. Is the fight even worth it? At the end of the day, remember that suffering is a choice and that no matter what’s going on, there is a way out. But if staying with your smooth operator gives you satisfaction, then so be it. For the men, please don’t push being too much of a bad boy. A little mischief will do and don’t push your girl too much. Know the limitations. No one is perfect but at least aspire to do things differently and rightfully. For the media stop, playing with our minds, and put out something useful out there.

Lastly, just a thought to ponder, have you asked your self the intention as to why you are in you current relationship now? Love is not a game but a serious, one highest forms of human expression, how do we use it in its full capacity?

So do whatever floats your boat.

j hus
I don’t want one wife, I want three of them – 21 Question

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